When somebody wrongs us, negative emotions can eat away at us.
Enright suggests asking yourself a few questions: What was life like for this person while growing up?
“Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong,” Mahatma Gandhi wrote.
Probably because forgiving is hard work, especially when some deeds don’t seem worthy of forgiveness.
So, for all I’ve said so far, one can coherently hold that forgiveness is not at all a matter of desert. But even while saying that you can allow that if the perpetrator has come this far down the path repentance, the anger isn’t doing the victim any good anymore. So she should let it go – but, again, for her own sake, not for the offender's sake. But suppose I’m the only one who can’t forgive him -- the only one who refuses to believe him or even to acknowledge the steps he has taken.
At least part of me thinks that there is nothing a person can do to “deserve” forgiveness. I’m not entirely convinced by this line -- though I'm not entirely unconvinced either. All my dearest friends have forgiven him for what he’s done to me.